It is a cold rainy November night and I just can’t sleep. I am down with a cold and may be the many cough drops I have eaten through out the day are keeping me wide awake. But I think it is more than that. I have fallen in a rabbit hole and lost my sense of time. Although I am currently excited about quite a few things, yesterday’s regrets and tomorrow’s anxiety have somehow taken over my sense of the present. I have tried to fight it all day. I cooked myself some comfort Indian food this morning. I entertained myself with multiple episodes of 30 Rock. I folded a new origami model and talked to a friend. I ordered take-out in the evening and finished few chapters of a book I have been meaning to read. But NOTHING has worked. Feels like I have been here before and vowed never to come back again. And yet here I am. Loss of energy? Inspiration? Optimism? I don’t have words to describe how this feels. But Bob Dylan does.
I wish I found a portal to travel back in time, just like Woody Allen’s Gil. I’d go back to Dylan’s Minneapolis days. A charming young Dylan clad in his bushy hair and black jacket, strolling on the Stone Arch bridge, playing his harmonica. Unbeknown to him, I’d silently follow behind. I’d readily go under the dancing spell of his music to be transformed, transported and inspired.
But since I can’t do that, I am listening to this song, which is probably my favorite Dylan song. It is a simple melody, beautifully written. And on a day when nothing has worked, it is working. The song itself has a strange calming effect and knowing that Dylan understands my current state of mind is very comforting. I don’t know who Dylan is referring to in the song, but he will always be my Tambourine man.